Dungeon Souls, The Most Fun You'll Have Dying...Repeatedly

Nintendo started with Mario, Sega had Sonic, Sony burst onto the scene with Crash Bandicoot; each huge developer started with one game, one character that they would found empires with. Every young game developer starts with a single game; too many of them fall through the cracks or fail to get off the ground. Every developer started as an indie developer. Will Mike Studios, the creator of Dungeon Souls, soar to the heights of Nintendo or Sony? They just might. Is Dungeon Souls the game they will ride to such great heights? It’s a hell of a start.

I was pleasantly surprised with Dungeon Souls, brought to us by Mike Studios and Black Shell Media. It’s an 8-bit hack n slash dungeon crawler, with a premise that’s beyond simple; you control one of three fallen heroes searching for a mysterious orb that will revive them (and maybe a few buddies). Still following? Great, that’s it. The game gives you a choice from one of three tried and true character classes; the healthy and powerful Berserker, the accurate Archer who can pepper many targets, or the fast and backstabby Thief. You’re also able to unlock four other classes by defeating enemies, finding a certain item, or beating the bosses thrown your way…and collecting the fabled mysterious orb, of course.

Standing in your way to freedom is the Gate Keeper, who keeps the gates of the afterlife closed…most of the time. He throws up obstacles in each of the twelve floors; making you activate summoning circles that, you guessed it, summon beasties to destroy before moving on. Every three levels, you have to fight a boss hell bent on preventing your revival. Also worth noting is that the Gate Keeper shows up to suck the life (or whatever keeps you going) from your body if you hang around one stage too long.

Sounds easy enough, right? Wrong. Dead wrong (excuse the pun). The challenge in making great games, or anything really, is balancing difficulty with fun. This seemingly innocent little game is hard, brutally hard. It doesn’t look like it should be, but that isn’t stopping it from eviscerating me more often than I’d like to admit. You do level up your stats and skills and can collect any number of absurd items, and drink potions of questionable origin. Much like the Duck of Doom though, you really should know better than to pick things up in a dungeon…especially strangely colored potions. These are a few of the things that ‘should’ help you out in your quest back to the land of the living.

Dungeon Souls won’t revolutionize the face of gaming or end racial problems or stop world hunger, I’d love seeing a single entity that could do even one of those things, but this will give you a damn fun game to play. It’s one of the more fun half hours you’ll spend dying. It won’t take hours to dominate this game, but I bet even Lazarus would have liked some help on his trip back to life. The best part so far? The dev team; everyone over at Mike Studios actually listens to the Steam community and they work constantly to satisfy each of our fickle little desires, in relation to Dungeon Souls, at least.

I can’t wait to play the next game from Mike Studios and Black Shell Media.

Check it out. Yesterday.

The Binding of Isaac shows us just how fun a little light-hearted sacrilege can be

This is an adorably strange little game. It’s more than a little gross and more than a little sacrilegious and more than a little juvenile and more than very entertaining. The first one, The Binding of Isaac, came out in 2011 via Steam on PC. This one is not so much a sequel, as much as well, a rebirth. The plot hasn’t changed, nor has the gameplay, but neither of these things has really needed to change. They were great in the original, and just as entertaining in the Rebirth. There are a few more characters, controller support, plenty of new items in Rebirth, and they included controller support, all of which make the game more fun to play. The new one was also not created using the Flash engine, and has the ability to stop and save mid-game…which is nice.

The plot of the game is largely inspired by the biblical story of the same name. Isaac and his mother live a normal quiet life in suburbia; Isaac playing with toys and drawing pictures while his mother neglects him and instead chooses to watch Christian broadcasts on TV. Cue a disembodied ‘voice from above’. Isaac’s mother is told that her son has been corrupted with sin and needs saving. Clearly, this is a voice worth trusting, so she took all his toys and games away from him, and even give him a circumcision. The voice booms from above again saying that he must be cut off from all the evil of the world and confess his sins, so she locks him in his room. Finally the voice speaks once more to demand a sacrifice in order to prove her love for it. Isaac overhears this last message and frantically tries to hide, eventually finding a trap door in the floor. He hastily posts the picture he was drawing (the sinful little brat) onto his wall and jumps into the trapdoor, not knowing what he’s jumping into; just knowing that he has to escape his mother’s wrath. To forward thinking, intelligent some people, this sounds bat sh*t insane, and will lead to a game which is just that. This picture becomes the title screen. In the story Biblical version, God asks Abraham to kill is son, Isaac, to show his devotion.

Gameplay-wise Rebirth is a top-down 2D rogue-like dungeon crawler. You (as player) control Isaac or one of ten other unlockable characters navigating through the basement of your quiet suburban house into the dungeons below. Each floor is a randomly generated dungeon in which you must fight monsters ranging from spiders and flies to floating hearts and the Seven Deadly Sins (yup, those bastards) in each room before proceeding to the next. While playing, you can collect three different kinds of hearts to replenish your health, keys to unlock rooms or chests, pocket change to buy a vast array of goodies, and bombs to cause a little explosion that can open ‘secret’ rooms or hurt anyone close to them, including you. Each floor contains an absurd boss, who you must defeat and pillage the body of to continue to the next floor. The first time through, there are six levels which culminate in fighting Mom. The next few times through, you climb into her womb after defeating her and on level eight, you fight her heart. You’ll eventually be able to unlock level nine and fight Satan himself; there may also be something after Satan, who knows?

This game was welcomed with a warm reception almost everywhere, from Steam to Windows to PS4 and PS Vita. I say almost everywhere, because Nintendo was originally going to release it on the 3DS, but eventually backed out, citing ‘questionable religious content’. I’m going to note just how entertaining it is that Playstation saw no problem releasing this on both of its systems, while Nintendo drew backlash and outrage from numerous gaming websites, and led the creator, Edmund McMillen to praise Steam and the freedom it gave to publishers in regards to content.

You’ll also find or buy plenty of items and pills and tarot cards to aid Isaac (wigged or not) in his quest of escaping his murderous mother. ‘How does this newly circumcised, lonely, terrified child fight?’ you may be asking; aside from tossing bombs and using a few items, he cries. That’s right, he cries at scores and scores of his worst nightmares and denizens of hell using the cleansing, cathartic powers of an innocent child’s tears. Some of these items enhance or alter his tears, making them bloody, poisonous, bigger, fear-inducing, or any other number of upgrades. There are also a couple items that change his tears into spit or laser beams or ‘jets of brimstone’, as the game calls big lasers that have to be charged up. The pills and tarot cards are one-off items and can either do great or terrible or mundane things. The pills are a crapshoot, never giving you the name of them until after you use them and changing the color schemes with each run. The tarot cards on the other hand, do the same thing each time you get them and are usually helpful; teleporting you to a secret room or giving you hearts and other collectibles or allowing you to fly for a room, or turning you into a pretty, glowing unicorn who is invincible for a short time and assaults enemies with the power of being fabulous.

Now, the important stuff; is the game fun? What’s the soundtrack like? Will you tell me about replayability? What other games could this be compared to? How long a game is this? Why would you play such a sacrilegious game? Are you a terrorist?

You’re damn right the game is fun, I got into the first one and found it adorably disturbing. This one is all that and more, it’s easy to play and hard to master, it’ll make you laugh if you don’t take things too seriously. The soundtrack is overall pretty good. While I tend to have Netflix on in the background while playing (and it’s caused more than a few deaths), on the few times I have listened to the soundtrack, I’ve enjoyed it, and the sound effects do add quite a bit to the game. On occasion, mom’s hand drops down from above to snatch you from the room you’re in, making you restart that room. When that happens, she utters a scream a second before you see the hand, so you can GTFO if you try.

 By itself, one run of this game can take a half hour, tops. Part of the fun comes from replaying it as the newly unlocked wigs…err characters. This game also features a boss rush mode, where you have to fight each boss the game has to offer and survive. There is also a challenge mode where you’re up against the first six levels of the game under different conditions. ‘When Life Hands You Lemons’ is a challenge based solely on peeing on things; you’re given a Lemon Party pill, which drops bright yellow creep that damages enemies, a reusable item called Lemon Mishap, which allows you a much smaller version of the pill and can be used very often. This is also in reference to a joke website called lemonparty.org, but please do not go there. You will not like what you see. I promise you. I would play such a sacrilegious game because it’s really fun. It’s also more than a little satirical, and if you can’t laugh at things such as religion, what can you laugh at? I’m not a terrorist; I’m just a dude who appreciates a well-made indie game. Are you? 

More Pam from HR, less asinine side quests.

I love video games, I have for years. Unfortunately, sometimes they don’t make sense, even within themselves. I’ve noticed this phenomenon mostly with RPGs, and sometimes with open world shooters (I’m lookin at you Red Dead Redemption!), but mostly with RPGs. There are times that certain quests, or most quests, don’t make sense within the story arc you’re creating in the game. If I’m on an epic quest to save the world from some form of cataclysm, of course I want to find your lost chickens or murder a bunch of wolves who are just minding their business so you can make a new wolf pelt blanket. Let me put those lofty aspirations on hold, just for you, valued NPC. What’s that? Your friend in the next town wants to give me a ring, but only if I deliver these anthrax-laced letters for him. Sign me up, because you bet your ass I need that shiny finger accessory.

I recently finished Dragon Age: Inquisition (whose last boss was kind of a joke) and enjoyed the game as a whole. One part really took me out of the flow of the story, however. I was playing a female elf and pursuing a romance with Josephine, your liaison to high society. I know…you have comments about my decision to pick a female character or pursuing a lesbian romance, it’s 2015, get 

over it.

You can only make steps towards having sexy times with a character later in the story, where you’re already capable of murdering the bigger baddies in Thedas. One day, I stroll back to my lady love’s room in the castle after choking the life from a particularly brutal dragon only to find out that some dude wants to duel me for Josephine’s hand. I respond in the ‘ye olde fantasy time’ (technical term) version of ‘he ain’t shit, he ain’t never been shit, I’ll see to it that he’s never gonna be shit. I’ll choke the life from him too’. Instead of giving me her blessing to go body this fool, she starts getting all panicked about the chance I’m going to lose.  I just sit back and look at the TV in bafflement. Not only have I spent the last few hours murdering dragons, I single handedly made them extinct on this continent, and you’re worried I’m going to die at the hand of some rich brat who has no business polishing my blade? Come on son. There wasn’t an option for the olde fantasy time version of ‘Bitch, I murder dragons!’, so instead I go with the version of ‘don’t worry baby, I got this’. As it turned out, he’d heard of some of my impressive feats and backed down…you know, the way things such as this should go in video games.

Take Skyrim, another game where you can murder dragons; after you do something impressive, or reprehensible, everyone in every city knows about it. It’s like Skyrim has Pam from HR sending all of the memos on everything you do. That’s how open world games and RPGs should go, when you do something monumental, everyone in the world you’re screwing with should take notice. I’m not saying that you need to make every quest a matter of life or death, but something should change in the world because you found that lost brat or gave some lady a bunch of healing herbs. Living in the world of advanced game making that we do, with every game under the sun having influence meters or some arbitrary morality meter, one would think that if we save the brat, he’ll help us out with something later on or give you something valuable for altering the world  to keep him in it, or if we donate our hard earned (I know, you walk around hitting A, that’s not the point) herbs, that she’d offer us a free inn for the rest of the game, or the people she’d saved will become minions. Something that gives these tiny (in the scope of the game) side quests meaning to the universe you’re interacting with.

Are you ready for a ‘back in my day’ rant? Here one is, get excited! Growing up, I played a lot of RPGs, one of which was Shining Force 2, a great game by any standard. Early in the game, you wander around the grounds of a temple. If you wander to a certain spot, you’ll be treated to the Genesis version of a cutscene of truly awful bird-man parents tossing their fledgling into the air on the balcony of this temple. Sure enough, the little bastard falls and would be a baby bird-shaped splat on the ground were you not standing there with a soft, cushion-y head to fall on. Flash forward to later in the game, where an indeterminate (or determinate, I forget which) amount of time has passed as you’re traversing a mountain road, only to be accosted by a huge birdman wanting to join your army. As it would turn out, this is that little fledgling that you saved from being a bird-pancake so many game years ago. He’s all grown up and wants to thank you for saving him. Another instance of choices (or arbitrarily walking someplace) that make an impact on the world in the game, back before Sega was put on a ventilator. 

A Media Rep's Guide to E3 Part 2: Act Like a Killer

A Media Rep’s Guide to Navigating E3: Act Like a Killer

Part 2: Act Like a Killer will coincidentally cover how to act…like the pro we both know you can be.

For the past three years, I’ve been attending E3 as a member of the media for various outlets, from a college paper to my own website to working as a writer for an indie game company, to a publicist for that same company. To say I have a little experience would be an understatement; I’ve been through this ringer and keep coming back. The first two years I was more or less on my own and had to learn what to do when on my own, but this past year, someone saw fit to give me minions to use in my yearly conquest of the biggest video game convention of the year. Admittedly, I gave my CEO no advance notice that I’d be going as a publicist last year, but he hasn’t complained about my deception, so I kept going with it until he gave me the actual title that I’d been passing off as my own. Make no mistake, if I’d fucked off or screwed around or shed an unpleasant light on the company, then I would have been caned…or canned in the blink of an eye. The moral of the story is that you can call yourself whatever you please as long as you can back up that claim with your actions. A lot of people suggest that that people dress for the job they want, not the job they have; I’m suggesting people take that a step further and ACT like you have the job you want rather than the job you have.

Is my way the right way for everyone? Hell no. Is it the wrong way for everyone? Hell no. It happens to be the way that works for me however, and I have a better idea than most as to how one should navigate E3 successfully.

Do research however you do it best, I make phone calls and set up meetings for the second two days strictly, leaving the first one wide open. Have an idea in your mind where everything is, sure they have floor plans and you can (and should) download the E3 app for your smart phone, but no one wants to be the shithead who has a meeting they have to sprint to because they have their places mixed up.  That guy sucks, always and forever.

Everyone has a different way of tackling huge things put in front of them; some write everything down and have a very structured plan to cover everything they could possibly need, some map a route out with bullet points and outline everything carefully, some have a general idea of where to go first or whether or not to either go from the biggest companies to the smallest or vice versa and how their moves will have the biggest effect, some go in flying by the seat of their pants hoping things go well. As much as I would love saying I were one of the former two, I cannot; I’m very strongly a mix of the latter two, with a little smattering of the second.

Anyone can record any and everything they please these days, and if there is something you’re interested, you would be a fool not to. That being said; make sure to bring a pen (or five if your colleagues are assfaces and steal them, like some members of the company I’m shamelessly calling out) and paper on the not so unlikely chance you’ll need to write something down. It will happen and no one wants to try carrying on a conversation with some dude whose head is buried in his phone. Another important thing is to get business cards made. I cannot stress the importance of that enough. Everyone has a card at E3 and it is really the only way to carry on meaningful conversations with anyone after the show is over. I had 500 made, and used just under half of them. Will everyone who gave me a card or got a card from me contact me? If you think that, you must be out of your damn mind. I gave out so many cards at E3 this year, that my colleagues started calling me Gambit. That’s a nickname I’ll wear proudly, cuz Gambit is a badass…and I’ll gladly welcome any and every such correlation.

If this is your first E3, congrats on attending…that’s fucking awesome! If you’re a veteran, congrats slightly less, but that’s still wicked awesome! Take a few minutes and let it sink it; you’re at E3, the biggest and best video game convention of the year. One thing to realize quickly is that you’ll never be able to see it all, it just won’t happen. There will be things that don’t interest you, and it’s up to you to recognize that regardless of what’s coming in the next Madden or NHL, which you still won’t give a shit about, because you don’t play sports games.

Bear in mind that I’ve only attended as a member of the media so unless you have a media or special access badge, you won’t have the access to half of the things that I will. That’s how the chips fall, sorry. After letting it sink in that I’m at E3, I get down to business, I always head to the meeting rooms first. Those are the things you won’t have access to unless you have a media guy with you who is awesome enough to create bullshit jobs for you, or one of these coveted badges. Such bullshit jobs can include but are not limited to photographer, hype man, director of party favors, genre expert, dictation minion, phone holder, interview minion, body guard, useless hanger-on, general minion, or anything else you decide to create. If you do have a media badge and you offer to let someone into behind the scenes stuff with you, you’ll make plenty of friends, it’s up to you whether or not you want to return friendship, or accept that people are using you for your access. It sounds cold, sure, but unless you are overly concerned with others’ opinions of you then it shouldn’t matter, then proceed how you see fit. I had no problem sharing my access regardless of the intent of those I shared it with. It’s because of those friendships that I am where I am today.

After that awesome tangent, we’ll get back to day one and the meeting rooms at E3 2013. These are all on the second floor and usually have some of the cooler shit you can see from smaller companies. This year we got to see stuff from MadCatz, 505 Games, Steam, Epic, Sony Europe, and other companies that don’t always have AAA titles. While checking everything out, I also made meetings with some of the people who didn’t have time when I first stopped by. This is exactly why I always leave the first day wide open; to make meetings work when I cannot fit them in while strolling by. You won’t be able to get meetings with everyone you want to, there won’t always be time. It will happen, a lot. With the meeting rooms done, I make sure to get to the small room between the concourses, which has more of the same; smaller companies that actually make the foundation of the convention. After seeing what everyone there has to offer and set up any important meetings, I actually hit the show floors.

The mistake that everyone makes their first time is to rush to the biggest and brightest areas of E3. The Nintendo, Sony, Microsoft, Activision, etc, are always swarmed at the beginning by fan boy hoping they will get to see a flash of Master Chief, like every 16 year old boy hoping to see a nip slip during the course of his favorite television show. Those huge names will still be there on the second two days, and the annoyance from all the fan boys will be gone because they all were sated on the first day. Meanwhile, you’ll have the gratitude of the smaller companies who weren’t expecting much of anything until after the big names were addressed. It keeps the busy and it’s usually a lot more fun to have meetings that aren’t stressful. You might even be able to joke about selling babies on the black market or jokingly pitch your idea for a terrible app that would make millions.

If you’re reading this and have any questions, hit me up! That’s what I’m here for.

A Media Rep's Guide to E3 Part 1: Dress to Kill

A Media Rep’s Guide to Navigating E3: Dress to Kill

Part 1: Dress to Kill will cover what to wear and how to accessorize…like the pro we both know you can be.

For the past three years, I’ve been attending E3 as a member of the media for various outlets, from a college paper to my own website to working as a writer for an indie game company, to a publicist for that same company. To say I have a little experience would be an understatement; I’ve been through this ringer and keep coming back. The first two years I was more or less on my own and had to learn what to do when on my own, but this past year, someone saw fit to give me minions to use in my yearly conquest of the biggest video game convention of the year. Admittedly, I gave my CEO no advance notice that I’d be going as a publicist last year, but he hasn’t complained about my deception, so I kept going with it until he gave me the actual title that I’d been passing off as my own. Make no mistake, if I’d fucked off or screwed around or shed an unpleasant light on the company, then I would have been caned…or canned in the blink of an eye. The moral of the story is that you can call yourself whatever you please as long as you can back up that claim with your actions. A lot of people suggest that that people dress for the job they want, not the job they have; I’m suggesting people take that a step further and ACT like you have the job you want rather than the job you have.

Is my way the right way for everyone? Hell no. Is it the wrong way for everyone? Hell no. It happens to be the way that works for me however, and I have a better idea than most as to how one should navigate E3 successfully.

Remember that show What Not to Wear? This isn’t that. This is what to wear. Make sure you wear comfortable shoes first and foremost. Don’t go for Chucks or worn out sneakers, go for black leather (or pleather if you’re classy as shit) slip on or lace up low top shoes that have some kind of comfort insert…preferably that come with the shoe so you don’t have to drop money on them.

You’ll be walking for miles and miles each day without realizing it…or really caring, but as a result, your feet will hurt. Get excited, it will happen.  While we’re talking about shoes, what should any self-respecting gamer, regardless of badge or access wear? If you want to be that guy (or girl) wearing your tattered old Legend of Zelda shirt, go ahead; you won’t be alone. If you want to stand out and make the right impression, leave that shirt at home or use it as PJs. Instead of rockin that awesome game shirt, try something with a collar. Think business casual, all day long. If, like most guys, you have no idea how to dress yourself well or match colors to your specific skin tone, ask someone working at your favorite upscale clothing store. It is their job to assist you in making you look like the best possible you wearing their apparel, let them assist you, and if need be, make the most of and abuse that assistance. Being a big dude, I go with solid lighter/pastel colors or vertical stripes for my button downs. That’s tricking the eye with fashion. Psychology’d. Long or short sleeve should be your next concern, intrepid gamer. That’s a personal preference call; I go with long sleeves and roll them up. Not everyone has the arms for long sleeves rolled up though, if you’ve got big arms or tattoos that can be conversation starters, go short sleeve. Same with the casual suit coat, either wear one or don’t. It’s a personal choice again. If you’re comfortable wearing one, rock that bad boy all day long, if you prefer having your arms freer, don’t. Bear in mind that the casual suit jacket has pockets that can hold things you may need throughout the day. That’s one of the only reasons I go for the suit coat. As for pants, jeans are perfect. Make sure they are nice jeans that look like they were hemmed to fit your unique size, better yet, get them hemmed to fit your unique size.

Now that we got your style on point, let’s address what to bring. Simple things first; wear a watch. Even if you don’t use it, wear one. Choose one that suits your adult style and wear that, it’ll look good. If you need glasses, get a new adult pair that looks as good in the board room as they will out to dinner with your significant other. If you don’t wear glasses, don’t wear fake ones. They make you that guy. That guy always sucks. If your fake glasses are hipster glasses, you should get hit. End of story.

Now onto the harder stuff; if you don’t have a smartphone, you have no business being at E3. That may sound rude, but it’s the truth. This is an exposition based around the latest advances in technology, get with the times. I’ve done both iPhone and Android phones and I prefer the iPhone, but that barely matters as long as you have a smartphone. Shit, you can get a Windows phone if you like…you may hate yourself, but that’s on you.

As for required apps, the E3 app is a no-brainer. It’s a one stop app for everything expo related, it has a map, show info, alerts, attending exhibitors, and plenty of other helpful things about the conference you may not want to carry around in an E3 bag. Another must have is a voice recorder. The iPhone comes with a serviceable one that will work well enough for three days unless you would prefer doing QuickVoice or Voice Recorder HD. Androids, however, do not come with one installed, but there are plenty of free ones on the android marketplace. The reason for this is to record any meetings or interviews so you can actually digest them after the fact without trying to rely on your memory, which will be somewhat faulty. Another must have is a QR reader; this will be useful beyond E3 into your everyday life. You can scan your groceries to find out nutritional nonsense if you please. At the expo, there will be more than enough things to scan all over the place; on the walls, floor, ceiling, billboards, business cards, tables, chairs, t shirts…you get the idea. You want this for the same reason as the recorder, so you can process and digest information later on. I also like having a notepad on my smartphone, just in case. I just used the E3 app to check the show hours to make this point; trying to use a phone for six or seven or either hours almost straight will murder your battery quicker than Killer Instinct will destroy you on ‘Kyle’ difficulty. If you don’t believe me, give it a shot. Bring a backup battery and cord or a phone case with an extra battery built in. Go whichever route you prefer with this, I didn’t want to drop $100 on an iPhone case/battery, so I went with an extra battery and cord. One reason I rock the suit coat, to hold the extra battery and cord. Logic’d. One app you may like to have is Yelp. There are more than enough restaurants in the greater Los Santo…I mean Los Angeles area that won’t abuse your wallet or stomach like food court food will. This is an absurdly easy way to find any such place, or you can just walk across the street to Hooters. A good maps/directions app will also help, and can be found free on any smartphone. I use Motion X, which costs a couple bucks, but the different voices are entertaining.

There are any numbers of apps that will make things easier or quicker or help pass the time, but those will change with the owner of the phone, as I’m sure you’d expect. Your video game news apps, your games, your other time killers, your music and headphones, but those are the apps you’ll use every day without being prompted to.

You should also bring a portfolio, just to be on the safe side. It may be annoying to carry, but that’s what minion…I mean friends are for. In this portfolio should be a notepad and pen (or five of your co-workers are jackasses), your already made business cards which you’ll be handing out to everyone and their brother as networking tools, and maybe some resumes if you’re an over-achiever.

Join me next time for Part two: Act like a killer. 

Parenting?!? WTF is that?

We've all seen the stories about the rash of violence taking place among our youth currently, there are many reasons or scapegoats or excuses or what have you to explain it all away. By and large, those scapegoats always arrive at the video game industry’s doorstep like that relative that’s slightly off and always makes you feel like you need to bathe to eat dinner with them, we all have one…even if we don’t like talking about crazy uncle Larry. It’s time to kick that bitch to the curb once again, because the video game industry still didn't make anyone into a monster. I understand why Larry always comes back, because parents don’t want to admit to failing their little ‘angels’ or own up to any responsibility for the actions of those they had a hand in creating. This article could go in any number of ways, to how the schools today are churning out more robots and less free-thinking members of society, to how music is destroying our youth and turning them all into skinny-jean wearing brats, to how our next generation is much more tech-savvy than we are and we don’t understand how they function anymore; but while all of those things have a hand in the current state of society, they do not pertain to video games or why they are allegedly turning our young people into soulless monsters.

The best way for Johnny and Suzie parent to ensure that little Jimmy doesn't grow up to stab or shoot or garrote any number of people is a very simple one…and yet one that so many parents fail to do. It’s simply to be involved and teach your children what the media is. Some might call it ‘parenting’ and it’s a crazy concept. To parent, one has to converse with a child or spawn or little brother and pass on knowledge of how the world works, or in this specific case, how the media works.  The news exists to propagate fear and conformity through that fear, yet people continue to go to whatever outlet aligns most accurately with their political outlook because they are comforted by people and opinions that coincide with their own. Movies tend to mirror whatever is going on in society; when G. W. Bush was president, we were overrun by horror films, when Clinton was running things, we were all swept away in a bunch of romantic comedy/finding love after someone cheated on you drivel. Currently, with President Obama, we’re beset by terrorist plots and Washington falling in a vast array of explosions that might put Michael Bay movies to shame. As for television, we have to deal with the idea that some jackass from bumfuck Idaho can be the next great American singer; and 85 knock offs featuring slightly less overtly talented jackasses being coached by ‘pop icons’. As for music, there is nothing overly new happening here; indie trash and hipsters are still running things thanks to Apple (RIP Steve Jobs). Finally we come to video games; the current scapegoat for all of society’s ills, when Democrats aren’t blaming Republicans…and vise versa. With technology continuing to advance at a blinding pace, video games have to keep up to remain a viable entertainment outlet and industry. With this comes the ability for video games to mimic real life even closer, through the Playstation Move, the Xbox Kinect, and Nintendo Wii & Wii U: Wii college edition. Video games are now being used to help rehab patients all across the United States and bring families together in the home, if the media is to be believed. In colleges across America, video games and virtual reality (which some believe is the next step in video games) are being used to examine what happens to a person’s brain while they play and immediately after playing. Video games are even being used as potential tour and college guides.

How is such a ‘destructive’ medium used in such incredible ways? Do any of the lawmakers and ‘media experts’ consider this when calling for video games to be banned in California? What kinds of art will never be made if they succeed? All of these questions (and plenty more) deserve answers. One way to learn these answers is to take an interest in what you buy your children and what they buy themselves. I’m a grown ass man and still make it a point to include my parents in what I buy, because they made sure to know what I spent my (and their) money on growing up. Did they always agree with me playing video games? Of course not! No parent approves of what their kids buy all of the time; it would be absurd to think otherwise. Did they make sure I knew the difference between real life and what happens within a screen? You bet your ass they did. They were not experts in media, but they were damn good parents who took the time to be parents in addition to having careers and hobbies and lives. They took the time to explain that what happens on television is not real life. They took the time to have conversations with their son about what happens as a result of any action.

I’m issuing a challenge to parents everywhere. Stop letting a box do your goddamn job. Be responsible adults and pass on knowledge to those you love and trust to be adults after your time. Don’t think that giving tiny people who can’t vote food and shelter is enough; give them something worth having, give them the tools to survive and thrive now and into the future. There was always time to parent when we didn't have such easy ways of communicating at our fingertips, there is sure as shit time now. Stop looking for the easy way out, so you can escape blame scot-free. Grow the f up and be parents to your children. We all need you to be, because well informed people are becoming few and far between and this, people, is unacceptable. If you don’t, who will?

I was iffy about publishing this one, as one of my parents passed away recently. He was and continues to be such an important force in my life, and it would be doing him a disservice not to. I love you dad.

Why I called my mom crying from E3

Why I called my mom crying from E3

Everyone shows up at E3 on the first day all bright eyed and bushy tailed, and is systematically worn down over the next three days due to numerous factors. From the grind of running around like a madman while putting your game face on and presenting yourself and whoever you happen to work for in a good light to the work in the evening (for some of us lucky few) to the parties for everyone else where alcohol is flowing like water and things happen that may very well shame Vegas, we all get exhausted by day three. By the time our big dinner meeting happened on day three, everyone here at Third and Five was spent, both physically and emotionally, and after all requisite business had been concluded, the proceedings devolved into laughter as we all climbed in the car for one last party. This happens to everyone involved with E3. Everyone, that is, except for Travis.  Travis had the good (or bad) fortune to be staying in the Glendale Embassy Suites with the Third and Five crew and worked up the courage to come say hello to this group of degenerates who I’m sure looked very intimidating to a nine year old boy.

He appeared with a twinkle in his eye asking if we were lucky enough to go to E3 this year, which of course we were all too happy to tell him about, only to tell us that his parents were not able to get him there this year because it was too late to sign up…as a single tear rolled down his cheek. Our collective heart went out to this enthusiastic little boy, so we pulled him up a chair and told him all about the family friendly parts of our last three days. It was much less action packed than the movie of the same name. Watching his face light up even more as we took turns talking about our experiences reminded each of us of something, we work in video games. On the roughest day of work, we still work in an industry which we have all loved for years upon years, many of us since we were Travis’s age. No two people follow the exact same road, even if they end up at the same place. I cannot say what road Mike or Devon or Seth or Matt or Tai or Murray or Nate or Kay took to arrive at that table with me that night. I am sure that we all loved every second of being at the biggest trade conference of the year. At that moment, the love had nothing to do with video games in the slightest. That love was in response to a single question, posed by a nine year old boy.

‘How can I get a job that will allow me to go to E3?’ This was such a simple question with so many different answers. Each of us had something different to say, but the messages all came back to never letting anyone deter you from doing exactly what makes you happy and following your dreams. I took a strictly academic road, some people created and maintained blogs that were noticed by the biggest companies, some people applied and applied until they got their name heard, and no one can say exactly how Travis will make his mark in this industry. He will though, I have no doubt in my mind of that.

We all gave him all the advice we could muster on what to do, where to be, how to conduct himself, and who can say what is the right way to do things. I sure as shit can’t. I only know what works for me, and as most of the staff will say, I do what I do very well. We all want to surround ourselves with people who are the best at what they do; and I feel very fortunate that Third and Five gave me the chance to excel on their behalf. We even went so far as to introduce ourselves to his parents and tell him what an incredible job they had done so far and we were all better off having met this passionate little man. As we parted ways, I made sure to give my business card to him as well as his father with the suggestion that he call or email me if he ever needs anything, no questions asked. Walking away from that meeting, we all decided to put our best piece of E3 swag together for Travis so he would have the best E3 had to offer.

This year I did an absurd amount of networking and exchanging of cards and a lot of that networking will yield delicious fruit. In all honesty, I feel the most fortunate to have had the chance to network with Travis.

Just knowing he is out there pursuing the same dream that I am really makes it all worth doing. If anything I’ve done helps to pave the road for Travis to make an impact on anything he chooses, then I will have succeeded. That’s the long and short of it.

Thank you Travis for the opportunity to have met you and inspire you at least a little bit. I know that you and your family were thankful for the chance, but we here at Third and Five were really the fortunate ones to have met you. You reminded us why we love video games.