Friday, June 5, 2015

More Pam from HR, less asinine side quests.

I love video games, I have for years. Unfortunately, sometimes they don’t make sense, even within themselves. I’ve noticed this phenomenon mostly with RPGs, and sometimes with open world shooters (I’m lookin at you Red Dead Redemption!), but mostly with RPGs. There are times that certain quests, or most quests, don’t make sense within the story arc you’re creating in the game. If I’m on an epic quest to save the world from some form of cataclysm, of course I want to find your lost chickens or murder a bunch of wolves who are just minding their business so you can make a new wolf pelt blanket. Let me put those lofty aspirations on hold, just for you, valued NPC. What’s that? Your friend in the next town wants to give me a ring, but only if I deliver these anthrax-laced letters for him. Sign me up, because you bet your ass I need that shiny finger accessory.
I recently finished Dragon Age: Inquisition (whose last boss was kind of a joke) and enjoyed the game as a whole. One part really took me out of the flow of the story, however. I was playing a female elf and pursuing a romance with Josephine, your liaison to high society. I know…you have comments about my decision to pick a female character or pursuing a lesbian romance, it’s 2015, get 
over it.

You can only make steps towards having sexy times with a character later in the story, where you’re already capable of murdering the bigger baddies in Thedas. One day, I stroll back to my lady love’s room in the castle after choking the life from a particularly brutal dragon only to find out that some dude wants to duel me for Josephine’s hand. I respond in the ‘ye olde fantasy time’ (technical term) version of ‘he ain’t shit, he ain’t never been shit, I’ll see to it that he’s never gonna be shit. I’ll choke the life from him too’. Instead of giving me her blessing to go body this fool, she starts getting all panicked about the chance I’m going to lose.  I just sit back and look at the TV in bafflement. Not only have I spent the last few hours murdering dragons, I single handedly made them extinct on this continent, and you’re worried I’m going to die at the hand of some rich brat who has no business polishing my blade? Come on son. There wasn’t an option for the olde fantasy time version of ‘Bitch, I murder dragons!’, so instead I go with the version of ‘don’t worry baby, I got this’. As it turned out, he’d heard of some of my impressive feats and backed down…you know, the way things such as this should go in video games.

Take Skyrim, another game where you can murder dragons; after you do something impressive, or reprehensible, everyone in every city knows about it. It’s like Skyrim has Pam from HR sending all of the memos on everything you do. That’s how open world games and RPGs should go, when you do something monumental, everyone in the world you’re screwing with should take notice. I’m not saying that you need to make every quest a matter of life or death, but something should change in the world because you found that lost brat or gave some lady a bunch of healing herbs. Living in the world of advanced game making that we do, with every game under the sun having influence meters or some arbitrary morality meter, one would think that if we save the brat, he’ll help us out with something later on or give you something valuable for altering the world  to keep him in it, or if we donate our hard earned (I know, you walk around hitting A, that’s not the point) herbs, that she’d offer us a free inn for the rest of the game, or the people she’d saved will become minions. Something that gives these tiny (in the scope of the game) side quests meaning to the universe you’re interacting with.


Are you ready for a ‘back in my day’ rant? Here one is, get excited! Growing up, I played a lot of RPGs, one of which was Shining Force 2, a great game by any standard. Early in the game, you wander around the grounds of a temple. If you wander to a certain spot, you’ll be treated to the Genesis version of a cutscene of truly awful bird-man parents tossing their fledgling into the air on the balcony of this temple. Sure enough, the little bastard falls and would be a baby bird-shaped splat on the ground were you not standing there with a soft, cushion-y head to fall on. Flash forward to later in the game, where an indeterminate (or determinate, I forget which) amount of time has passed as you’re traversing a mountain road, only to be accosted by a huge birdman wanting to join your army. As it would turn out, this is that little fledgling that you saved from being a bird-pancake so many game years ago. He’s all grown up and wants to thank you for saving him. Another instance of choices (or arbitrarily walking someplace) that make an impact on the world in the game, back before Sega was put on a ventilator. 

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